A period of great spiritual turmoil entered my life in my mid-twenties a half-century ago. Soon, God gave me the gift of repentance from sin, lust, and lawlessness. It was a wondrous experience, an exit from an old world to a new – a fresh start. I had arrived for a “Take Two,” though I hadn’t recognized it as such at the time.
Within a couple of years, the new world began to wear off and things were getting spiritually rough again this time in a new way, not in sheer emptiness and desperation as before but with “something to work with.” Within months of that new “uncomfortability,” God gave me His Holy Spirit. Another “Take Two,” which, again, I hadn’t seen as a “Take Two” or three then.
As God led me on my spiritual odyssey, years later He brought me to yet another level, this time more of a release it seemed than an entrance into a new dimension. The process continued for another decade and a half or more until, through a great time of fasting, battles, and separation from a company unwilling, unable, or not destined to continue with me, I came into what was known to me for the first time as a “Take Two,” a fresh start about 5 years ago (this is 2022). Each of these new starts was exciting, fulfilling, and very promising.
Why am I saying these things now? Because I’m finding I’m running out of steam in this last stage as at other stages and now I’m in turmoil again and recently, I don’t find myself fulfilled and overflowing as I have been for the stage’s prime time.
So, it’s been a life of going from faith to faith, from one spiritual dimension to another. In each of those stages, it was an arrival of sorts, but then a repeat of a new start through a departure of the old, which is always trying, even painful. The trials would resume their intensity in preparation for more, for something new.
It can be scary because, at each closing of an old era, it can seem like God is casting one aside. Things must be surrendered, much as a caterpillar leaves its old body, activity, and world behind as it enters its cocoon. However, every time I’ve entered such a state, the Lord has ushered me into a better place. With that retrospect, my hope and conviction are that I will again enter a new stage of fulfillment and promise, better than the one before, a “Take Two” or “Take Three” or even a “Take Four.”
I’m saying all this because I’m finding myself in that quiet, trying time again. Just thought I’d let you know. I don’t know where the Lord will take me.